For The Glory Of.

What about men?

2011-12-07T13:21:00.001+08:00

There are many ‘short lived’ trends on Facebook and most are funny stories and such but none as viral as this video as I’ve for the last 3 days seen it on the top of my wall.

It tells the funny rant of a young man in a relationship; about none other than his other half and how being in a relationship with the girl drives him mad because of all the seemingly crazy situations he has to go through. I quote as he erupts: “Bollywood always shows young men and women falling in love but they never show what comes AFTER THAT” (emphasis added)

It struck me as interesting as I was on my way to work this morning as to why such a video might get such unusual attention and it dawned on me that many actually identify with this short sightedness - that we forget the horrors once you get into a relationship.

My take on this is that the reason why such complaints like the one you see in the video come about is because many who go into relationships forget that it is more than a friendship. That fuzzy feeling you get when you’re together? That’s just an illusion of love. The advertisement. The enticing salesman to get you into the relationship in the first place.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. Because we’re created that way. Wired to be attracted to the opposite sex. If we didn’t have that, our logical mind would have stopped us long ago and humanity would have ceased to exist a long time ago. No man in their right state of mind would do such a thing as get into a relationship. Unless of course that thing called the ‘emotion’ had a say.

But there is blessing in both being in and out of a relationship. The thing that makes a difference is whether you are ready or not for the changes that come when you are in either state.

For me, after a good 3 years in one, I discovered from the Bible that – the thing we call being in a relationship actually requires both to GIVE UP THEMSELVES rather than try to hang on to their old self.

Because being so close to someone actually takes a new level of maturity and ability to look beyond your own needs and begin to attend to the needs of others. A man when born cries when he needs something. We call that a baby. It whines, and cries out for attention. All it cares about are it’s needs. But as that child grows, it learns that there will come times where he will have to forgo his own importance for the sake of others. Letting old people go first, being patient in line. Waiting for everyone to eat before he does.

But when a child can finally and willingly give up his all for another and learn sacrifice, then that boy has learnt at least a bit of what it means to be a man.

And in that effect, has learnt a small but significant portion of what it means to love.

1 Corinthians 13:4 – 11 (NIV)

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

Last minute pennings

2011-11-25T12:25:00.001+08:00

Some days, flying to work is filled with pleasantries.

I regularly take the duke to work and when the times and conditions are right, the sky behaves like a living canvass spreading across the horizon; reminding me of the Creator.

Like a writer once mentioned, I can’t at this moment remember who - that if we think about the universe and how insanely huge it is, we might think it’s absurd that we might need so much space. But if we see from the perspective of creation being made to worship God, then such a huge expanse makes perfect sense.

These recent mornings, I’ve been literally been chased by the sunrise as I do my best to make it for work. The sun can usually be seen when I reach the DUKE around 7.05am. That’s when even more wonder happens. So beautiful the morning sky that I temporarily forget that I am half asleep at the wheel going at 140 rushing towards the day ahead.

Early Morning

2011-10-22T13:17:00.001+08:00

This morning at class. Student of mine. Made my day. ^.^

K: Excuse me while I eat this.

AY: I ate my breakfast at home. What is that?

K: I'm eating my breakfast.

AY: This is YOUR HOME?? 0.o

One Man Awakes

2011-10-12T15:53:00.001+08:00

One man awake awakens another,
The second awakens his next door neighbour,
And three awake can rouse the town,
and turn the whole place upside down.
And many awake can raise such a fuss,
That it finally awakens the rest of us.
One man up with dawn in his eyes
(surely then it) multiplies.

What a beautiful and uplifting poem about the revival that can come!

(I sense that when I am working only with one job, I am able to give more time to God,) duh*

Strength Abound

2011-10-12T13:21:00.001+08:00

Isaiah 40:25-31
The Message (MSG)

^25-26"So—who is like me?
   Who holds a candle to me?" says The Holy.
Look at the night skies:
   Who do you think made all this?
Who marches this army of stars out each night,
   counts them off, calls each by name
—so magnificent! so powerful!—
   and never overlooks a single one?

^27-31Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
   or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
   He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
   He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
   And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
   gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
   young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
   They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
   they walk and don't lag behind.

I missed work today because a pipe was backflowing water into Poay Ling’s house. We spent the morning cleaning up and I knew that if I went to work I wouldn’t be able to do. I woke up this morning feeling really bad because i know Ms. Steph my teacher already has it hard with the kids.

With the above verse I’m reminded that I am feeling bad on the wrong thing. I am reminded of the reminder I gave during my PKV speech about relying on God. So often I forget that in the midst of tiredness and trouble God is there to help me.

I’m sorry God for forgetting that YOU Lord are the greatest source of strength.

Overworked

2011-10-09T11:00:00.001+08:00

Eph 5: 11 - 16 (MSG)

11-16Don't waste your time on useless work, mere busywork, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It's a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ.

I’m compelled to think that the busy work mentioned here not only refers to pursuing materialism or the latest devices and fashion, it’s work that overtakes God in our hearts and lives.

Seasons

2011-09-20T12:25:00.001+08:00

“We do a disservice to ourselves and others when we portray the Christian life as peaceful and happy all the time. Instead, the Bible portrays the believer’s life as consisting of seasons of ups and downs.”

I guess It’s good to know that even in the ups and downs, I know I can be secure in God. We’re not alone when in the good and the bad. In fact we should expect seasons to change as it is how it should be.

http://odb.org/2011/09/19/seasons-of-ups-and-downs/

LOL

2011-08-20T17:17:00.001+08:00

Me: Eh. I’m so sleepy la. How ah?
Student: Eer. Dunno.

pauses*

Student: Jump down la!

We are on the first floor. =.=”

This is Kenny

2011-08-19T16:59:00.001+08:00

Our female cat. =D

Pardon the Parables

2011-08-09T02:16:00.001+08:00

Just so you know, I feel so devalued at this point of time.

Can’t work be a little more fair? Maybe it’s me! Maybe I have unfair expectations. Ones that are too proud or too sincere.

But why do other people who don’t reach the mark make it and I don’t? Nessa was right.

And it aches that I see the family growing together with all the pictures and updates and know that somehow I never was part of it.

Perhaps the only way I can deal with all this heartache is to cut this family away for good.

I hope that with this new venture that I don’t end up being too sincere again. I pray God you be with me tomorrow as I take what is rightfully mine.

To quote you: “Business is business”. LOL that was one expensive lesson. One I’ll never forget.

Promise God?

2011-07-28T03:42:00.001+08:00

Christ be with me,

Christ within me,

Christ behind me,

Christ before me,

Christ beside me,

Christ to win me,

Christ to comfort and restore me.

St. Patrick

Conversations

2011-06-18T02:33:00.001+08:00

Bunch of children waiting for class to start. Jumping and running around. Teacher comes to the door ready to get them in class.

Teacher: Okay, come here. All of you. Come and take a deep breath.
Student: *Breathe
Teacher: Breath out.
Student: *Fuhhhh
Teacher: Breath in.
Student: *Breathe
Teacher: Breath out.
Student: *Fuhhhh
Teacher: Okay are you ready for class?
Student: Yes..
Teacher: Do you still feel like jumping?
Student: No..
Teacher: Good. Come in to class.

Epic win!

How to cook?

2011-05-28T03:14:00.001+08:00

Can anyone help me with this? What do I do with this foodstuff? How do I prepare it?

I tried soaking it in water and all it did was end up as a mucus covered leaf.

Hmmm? Any Korean literate people out there?

Presence

2011-05-22T04:03:00.001+08:00

The girlfriend came back from Korea just yesterday and I’m glad. =D I’ll let her have the honor of of posting up her pictures first but I’ll just show some of the stuff she got for us =D

But really – and I just told her this evening - that the best present is that you are back here at home. =D

Really, all Glory to God that she was able to have this opportunity to go because of her faithfulness to the words and call of God. Amen!

Last day of the B.Ed.

2011-05-20T01:02:00.001+08:00

4 years. 4 years and it ends on a nice rainy day during a heat wave. Rain that seemed to represent the washing away. Renewal. Restoration.

Everyone’s happy!

Hi there Ima!

Hi there Ruth!

It seemed like yesterday that I was blogging about haluansiswa and today, I’m blogging about the ending of my degree. It’s been a pivotal journey and I thank God for being there since day one.

****

But now. The journey has ended and I see so much that needs to be done. So much more ahead – should God permit- that I have to go through.

Get Ready! get set!

You who Wait

2011-05-19T23:52:00.001+08:00

So I was able - to thanks to Ai Wei who I’ve not seen in such a LONG time – to meet up some dearest friends for a good dinner. It’s such a different feeling when one gets to just be yourself and not offend people. Thanks for reminding me of who I am you. Missing in the photo are George and Ben who missed the train to Thailand and hence took a cab to catch the train again at Seremban. I just got a call and am relieved that they DID.

I was supposed to go on this trip with them but I didn’t because of responsibilities eagerly looking for my skin.

Speaking of skin, George passed me this:

WAHHHH!

Dalamnya.

More surprises inside.

Beams*

Thank you George, Lavi, Adila and Firdaus!

*****

Suit Lin, Joanne and Jon. Thank you for such an amazing time together despite the fact that getting us together is like trying to get the planets aligned. But still we DID and it was a good time. It’s always a good time with you.

And yayy! Swensons Earthquake! Soo soo good.

One more set of braces to go!

Playing dry ice.

HEEEE!

Wah the durian we had that day was SUPER expensive. You see that on the table? RM31. WAAAHHHHHHHH!

****

Thank you so much for being so close to me. Few dare to. But you do.

Cat

2011-05-05T02:06:00.001+08:00

This is the story of a cat and how it came to capture the heart of men. Once there was a very young cat who was yet to be named. Yet despite this lack of a symbolic identity, the cat knew it needed love and attention. Unlike most felines, this cat seemed to have a lack of shyness that other cats seemed to have.

No. This cat was not afraid and was willing to come near to humans. Perhaps it was young and naive but that was I suppose was important in the events that followed.

This is it playing with a footbag.

Rubbing its scent on the legs to mark territory and to show affection.

This is the shy and untrusting friend which seems to be found near the said black and white cat.

Prey.

I like that cat. Though I’m unable to care for it as much as I want to.

A1200

2011-05-05T01:55:00.001+08:00

She’s happy because she is =D I like it when she’s happy, It makes me happy.

First photos from our new compact camera. ;)

Speaking

2011-04-28T15:42:00.001+08:00

2 Timothy 2:23-26 (The Message)

^22-26Run away from infantile indulgence. Run after mature righteousness—faith, love, peace—joining those who are in honest and serious prayer before God. Refuse to get involved in inane discussions; they always end up in fights. God's servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey. You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart and a turning to the truth, enabling them to escape the Devil's trap, where they are caught and held captive, forced to run his errands.

Bits of Singapore

2011-04-09T13:41:00.001+08:00

On the KTM. There’s something about trains that I now like because here, you’re stuck on this carriage for 8 hours straight. You meet people you can’t avoid. You meet yourself in the waiting. I think it’s a great time to reflect as opposed to the relatively short and potentially deadly 4 hour bus rides that can just seem to want to get to the destination as fast as possible.

Trains on the other hand take their time and edge their way past terrain and parts of the land that few ever see occasionally stopping at stops for passengers and cargo.

Very much like life I suppose. That if we rush around trying to get things done all the time, we forget that there is beauty in the journey and the destination; we often don’t realize, means that it has come to an end and a new journey will begin.

I saw this at Zorro, a restaurant in Johor Baharu where they serve one of the most wicked meals money can buy. Seriously. We didn’t get pictures of the food because we were so hungry. Tak sempat amik gambar.

Was trying to decide which vans shoes I should have bought. I got the blue limited edition one. xD Now I had a problem later on as my feet were hurting after wearing them for a while. I was worried that I had bought the wrong size as the salesperson recommended that I get one size bigger. I had chose to listen to my brother who said the larger size was too big.

Finally to our relief – because we both bought shoes – the shoes broke in and they became much more comfy.

I propose this question: red shoe or blue shoe?

Now, go all the way to a new country only to find buns manufactured by but not sold in your own country? You eat anyway and don’t care because you’re really hungry. If anyone has ever seen one of these in our local 7-11’s please let me know.

The above are pictures from spontaneous-in-the-moment shots that are too quick in passing for the regular compact. I feel for sure that phone cameras are devices used for a different purpose not limited to that purpose as a certain exhibition about a revived theatre as proven that.

For more shots from our trip check out: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=284175&id=733013945&l=348dc7faa9

Project 2 and 3 of 4

2011-04-02T00:55:00.001+08:00

After Operation Resurrection, the following took up my time.

This was a project for my Sociology class and it was good. God was definitely with us and it was a huge success. But the work leading up to it was not easy. Especially since the projects we coming back to back; not to mention the assignments we already had.

You can check out some of the photos here:

The event, on facebook

All together we were able to raise almost RM1500 with donations from all over the place.

*****

Project 3 was PKV’s Latest and perhaps final Easter Production due to the changes in the start of the new academic year. Nonetheless, this was another miracle as we had a lot of stuff holding us back but in the end, just like it was the 300 Gideon led to defeat the Philistines, God saved in the most unexpected and unconventional ways. Talk about thinking outside the box.

Facebook event:http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=196670697028990

Photos: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=293906&id=623153249&page=10

****

All these events have definitely taken its toll on me. And here I was thinking that 12 credits would have been a breeze.

I So Hate Consequences.

2011-04-01T13:59:00.001+08:00

Post Accident.

And I'm good, good, good to go
I got to get away
Get away from all of my mistakes

So here I sit looking at the traffic lights
The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites
I want to run away I want to ditch my life
Cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night

And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don't want nothing to hurt me
I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says I'm sorry can we leave it at that
Because I just want for all of this to end

And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what my best defence is
Consequences
Oh God, don't make me face up to this
And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what my best defence is
Cause I know that I let you down
And I don't want to deal with that.

When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There your words they caught my ears
You said, "I miss you son. Come home"
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was more than
The love I'd wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told so's
I said the words I knew you knew
Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you, I needed you

***

Last night this song played out in my head with all the mishaps that have been happening. This morning, I heard a new song. LOL. Like Kino in the Pearl. Or Old Major in Animal Farm. But that would be so lame. I heard this song.

Almighty God my Redeemer
My hiding place my safe refuge, no other name like Jesus
No power can stand against You.

My feet are planted on this rock
And I will not be shaken
My hope it comes from You alone
My Lord and my salvation.

***

It’s not the money that I’m upset about, though I’m preparing for the worst. RM300. (again) After the summon, now I’m left to deal with this. What I’m most upset about is why I COULDN’T avoid them. These mishaps. Dad’s right. Maybe I’m too tired. Maybe I’m too burnt out and I’m missing these details. I’ve got SO much on my mind that I just want to throw it all away. Like reformat my brain or something. Regain my sanity.

Truth

2011-03-19T13:22:00.001+08:00

Ephesians 6:13-21 (The Message)

^13-18Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare.

Geez.

Project 1 of 4

2011-03-11T21:01:00.001+08:00

And while this blog has experienced neglect, another blog has had the attention. And it so deserves because there has not been a cause as unique and significant as this in the history of performing arts in the University of Malaya.

Behold after a 10 year long hiatus, the Experimental Theatre (ET) of the University of Malaya is finally nearing completion.

OPERATION RESURRECTION is a PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBITION aimed at recording the process from the start to the finish of the ET.

*****

The Exhibition was launched just this Wednesday and is scheduled to run for an undetermined time for now. Needless to say, that doesn’t mean it will stay here forever, so get that butt moving to the LIBRARY of the UNIVERSITY of MALAYA and witness the Exhibition everyone (Including The Star, Berita Harian and Utusan) has been talking about.

Visit www.operationresurrection.blogspot.com for more details
Join the conversation at http://twitter.com/#!/opresurrection
or Tell a friend at on.fb.me/operationresurrection

Timeless

2011-03-10T00:00:00.001+08:00

I haven’t been blogging. Now I know how it feels to have so much to do. So little time.

Okay. Now for that grammar assignment

Day 4

2011-02-07T00:01:00.001+08:00

So the only family we visited as a family was Jess Liang and I’m glad we have the family as a friend. Kenny, Isabel and Jonathan are cool people no matter where they are and really down to earth. So yeah, if there’s one family friend to visit is this one. The new house is also fantastic and made me think about how I would like my future home to be. One of the things I must have near my house is a wan tan mee stall within walking distance.

This Wan Tan Mee prerequisite for home owning is a standard developed by Poay Ling and I to decide on good home locations to suit our preferences. It mustn’t be any noodle stall, it’s got to be tasty and cheap Wan Tan Mee. Why? PM me and I’ll tell you. =D

p.s. for dinner my family tonight, we went crazy over a newly rediscovered wan tan mee and we sapu-ed like 8 plates. Eight ya’al.

DBKL Fail

2011-02-06T23:36:00.001+08:00

This was on the 3rd day of the New Year and I caught a glimpse of this on City Hall’s building. I mean WTH. Super decoration fail. To me, if you want to put up something cool, make sure it works! Don’t leave it there. I mean, it’s all about the attitude lah. If it’s not good enough, don’t put it up lah. It wastes money and it’s an eyesore.

if you wanted to decorate, go light up the streets with red lanterns or something lah.

Bits

2011-01-26T11:49:00.001+08:00

What do you do when the friend you think you can trust turns their back.? What do you do when you face disappointment in the fact that the relationship you thought was going to be a cool one end up turning their back on you and all you can do is sit by and be reminded of all the other times someone has taken your heart and slammed it on the ground, leaving nothing but the splinters of what used to be the one of the few reasons why you could feel you belonged somewhere in the first place.

And there’s nothing you can do about it. If you move on, you move on. There’s no stopping it. It's not in any of our hands to do anything.

Indeed, every individual on earth desires the feeling of being able to be valued. The sense of belonging and not to be outcast. To be someone of value to someone else. There’s no denying it. It’s our curse, our blessing, the two sides of the coin, pulling our hearts apart for both the pleasure and poison of relationships and human interaction.

It’s that risk you see. You place bits of your heart into the basket hoping that in return, you have another friend to chill with. I mean I’m not talking about like relationships that will take you to the church isle, or majlis persidangan or what ever your cultural preference may be. I’m talking about the kind of relationships that are the day to day friend in the hall, the one you know will stick out for you most of the time, when you fall down or when you have a fall out with your loved ones. For even in the simplest of relationships that you find that bits of your heart, that go our for that brother or sister , are out in the open laying spread out on the parched and thorny ground of risk and the only way that little bit of heart can survive the brute of loneliness and lack of value is to have the people you wanted to put your trust in to pick it up and say ‘Hey, I’ve got your back’.

And it sucks if it doesn’t happen. Just call it a failed investment and you never go back there again because going back there will rend open the wounds held together by frail strands of whatever reason your mind can muster in the onslaught of emotional rebellion towards the people that didn’t want to value you the way you valued them. The way you cared.

Tenacity. You lift your head, and you know that God’s got your back and you look around you and for sure there are other people on this passing world that DO have your back, that do care and do love. Men and women who all this while have had bits of their heart stretched out the same way you do. And they’ve stretched out for you.

And in that moment, you thank God with all your heart and bless them all. Even if they are now past. That’s the only way any one of us are ever going to survive this ever changing world.

Job Opportunity

2011-01-15T10:54:00.001+08:00

Calling all Education and Early Childhood Education students,

An opportunity to work in an award winning education centre has arrived. Enopi Desa Parkcity is the recipient of the 2010 Quality service award and has seen an increase of 100% in students over the last year with students from all strata of life including international students and private school students. Ages range from the diverse range of 4 to 16.

This diversity is rarely found and offers teachers the immense opportunity to grow as teachers and child education practitioners.

Enopi Desa Parkcity is currently looking for Full Time teachers who are willing to commit for at least a year to the job.

We are looking for teachers who are dedicated, loves children, wants to grow as an educator and has own transport. Experience in related field is a plus point.

Pay Increments are easily attainable with commitment and consistent quality of work.

For further information, please contact me through:

Facebook Message @ www.facebook.com/kauntan

Twitter @ www.twitter.com/kauntan

Email @ tankeeaun@gmail.com

Hindsight

2011-01-08T19:20:00.001+08:00

I was on my way to cheras to pick up a certain merchandise and I was on the phone with someone. Suddenly I noticed that the driver on the other side of the road was flashing his headlamps.

Flashback to 13 years ago when me, my dad and uncle were on our way to Penang and they were looking out for cars flashing on the other side of the road. It seemed that the flashing meant that there was a police roadblock in front. (Though throughout the journey, there wasn't a single roadblock ahead.)

Back to present day, I stop my phone call and start driving slowly. No road block in sight. Green luminous jackets on the left! No it's just the road sweepers. I drive on. I was on the way to my destination with my laptop in the passenger seat with Google maps open. GPS konon la.

I look at the laptop, it's hard to focus, drive and scroll the miniscule touch pad all at the same time, while looking for landmarks that should show up on my now not loading screen. No I did not have broad band.

I catch a glimpse of what's ahead of me and there you have it. The road block. I shut my laptop and touch the chest area where the safety belt should be. It is.

As I draw closer I notice the number of cars caught are unusually small. In hindsight, i suppose it must have been the warning signs.

***

I finish my errand and I'm on my way back to the other side of the road where I first saw the car flash it's headlights. I drive past the roadblock which is now on my left and my hands reach for the high beam controls.

*flash*flash*flash*

A sort of espionage feeling swells up. This is sticking it to them. Looking out for fellow drivers. I look in my rear view mirror and I see the car behind me doing the same thing.

Paradise

2011-01-08T03:41:00.001+08:00

Mo Mo Paradise is a restaurant that offers an aesthetically pleasing dining experience along with pretty abundant food. It’s I think RM26 per pax in an all you can eat Malaysian Style. But really, a good place is not determined by how many different types of dishes they serve but you go with. Time and time again, I’ve seen people go to cheap places and not have fun and yet when we bring another group of friends, we have the time of our lives.

Yeah teachers. =D

I can’t tell if the girls are into the boy or the Galaxy S.

Yeah Little Einstein company dinner. FTW.

Epiphany

2011-01-07T21:53:00.001+08:00

Light and Darkness, Sin and Forgiveness

⁵ This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. ⁷ But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all^[b] sin.

⁸ If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. ¹⁰ If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

Was listening to Toby Mac’s “I’m for you” from his live album and it’s clear what the message is.

He ended that song with the above scripture and said: No matter what denomination, skin colour, economic background, school, upbringing, in the blood of Jesus Christ, we have fellowship with one another.

Yeah. Jesus blood unites.

A little bit of Christmas

2011-01-06T02:01:00.001+08:00

So it was Christmas and we the boys being the boys that we were had to get some gifts for the girls. I had mine all figured out but some of the others like most people had it last minute.

Hence on the 24th, we went to Mid Valley to scour the place for gifts and I managed to take these shots of them.

****

Poay Ling and I agree that this Christmas was definitely different but especially different for me because of all the camps I had before Christmas came. Supercamp Singapore was surely a highlight. But what was a new and memorable experience was the camp with the SITIAWAN WESLEY METHODIST CHURCH in Genting with Pastor Caleb as the camp speaker. God really showed me a lot of cool things that 4 days and that helped me understand more about what living with Christ in us is all about.

The craziest part was when I got back down from Genting and went straight for NexGen service. After which I had to prepare for a treasure hunt at 5.30 in the evening. NexGen service ended at 12.45pm. The treasure hunt was for a district combined Christmas outreach.

And straight after that I sped off after dinner to the Curve to watch Tron, to which I was blessed with 4 tickets by a church member. =D So I went with Poay Ling, Dodo and Phoebe.

The next day, I had a dentist appointment (because my tooth filling had come out while I was at Genting.) Dr. Yong was awesome as she did a 40 minute filling process which I thought was a tad long but proved itself worth it because of the minute detail Dr. Yong put into her work.

After which I left for Nex Gen’s camp: Resurgence

And that is another whole story. God was definitely moving in the midst of the people and the funny thing was Pas Ong was preaching about how our young people MUST experience God for themselves or our new generation will be lost.

I guess it’s no wonder the Israelites had the same problem of worship then rebellion then punishment then worship. The problem was that the new generation of Israelites that came up after the punished generation did not know God the way their fathers and forefathers did.

Facebook generation or not, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that the young generation of the church must know the word and experience the power of God in their lives. Or we risk the repeat of the Israelites vicious cycle.

I guess I’ll see soon enough this coming week what’s in store and how the teens will respond to God’s spirit.

Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be open
Christ is revealed.

You’ll come
let Your glory fall
as You respond to us
Spirit rain
come and touch
Our thirsty hearts again
You’ll come.

-Brooke Fraser-

Ben

2011-01-05T01:00:00.001+08:00

I was walking in the library today for the first time and I soon realized that this was the place that I would many times bump into Benjamin. I knew that this sem, it wouldn't happen (As much).

And as thouse thoughts were still lingering in my head, I turned to go up the stairs and in front of me was this picture.

Nuff said. Ben you have definitely left more than just with a degree, you've left quite a miniature legacy here in UM. Thanks for the GPS help this afternoon. =D

Twenty Eleven

2011-01-02T00:05:00.001+08:00

What a ride the last whole month. Not a single moment to breathe and I’ve told Poay Ling that I love it. Only in the last 2 days have I had time to choose to laze around and do absolutely nothing. Dangerous because the idle mind is indeed the devil’s workshop. (*King Dave and Beth)

But I like the feeling of accomplishment after a long run with projects and stuff and when it’s finally over, you get to take a deep breath and start all over again. This especially at the brink of 2011 and after so many trials and tough times with God and myself, being able to do these things have helped me reset my views and priorities.

I guess I owe it to the timing of which my teaching practice lasted only 3 months and that gave me a holiday since October. Well a break from what has been known to me for the last 3 years; which is a good thing. This long break allowed me to reevaluate what really mattered to me and what God wanted to do in this life all along.

His word is as clear as ever as I begin to spend time exploring the bible again and praying. And if there’s one thing I learnt about rest through this period is that REAL rest is not found in sitting around and not doing anything, REAL rest, the kind that makes you fully refreshed and strong and ready to take on the world; is found in spending time with God. With Jesus.

What a blessing this year has been. Tough yes, (what year isn’t?) But the payout has been amazing. And it’s not even me doing it. In fact I was probably more in the way than helping. But that’s the thing, it’s not an issue at all when God’s in the picture.

****

This year’s watch night service was a little different as there was a different atmosphere in the air. But I felt that Poay Ling was right to say that this year was going to be tough. To which I replied, each year will be tough and you’ll go through the year not knowing what those difficulties are. We’ve just got to hang on and Follow God fully.

****

My last semester as an undergraduate will start in less than 24 hours. I can’t wait to ride what this sem will bring.

Tears Robes*

2010-11-11T12:35:00.001+08:00

I think Christians who use this app regardless if it’s for fun or being really desperate are being really careless with their faith.

Christian! If you have this on your Facebook. you’ve missed the point. Seriously. God’s given you the Bible and you turn to a Facebook App??

I saw this and it dawned on me that it has come to this. Really, it’s quite pathetic and appalling to see that the dependency on the internet and virtual things have clouded minds and blocked the truth that is under their noses.

Uniqlo and Money

2010-11-06T12:16:00.001+08:00

A trip down to Bukit Bintang to catch the Uniqlo opening turned towards Sungai Wang because of the unbearably long line in front of that Japanese based clothing store. A trip to Sungai Wang then led to me thinking about the real value of money as we bargain hunted the place down for fashion items. Forcing myself to save more money than spend is a good way for me to rethink priorities and to curb impulsive spending. Being thrifty is never a bad habit except when it drastically affects your social life.

True story. Mom’s friend. Brought my mom and friends out to eat breakfast after morning line dance. She ordered a glass of water and then said. “Okay so now se share lah. Between 8 people.” This professional thrifter, mind you owns 2 houses and several cars. So that’s bad. But forcing yourself to deny everything you want to buy at an impulse is a good practice.

I mean think about it. Something is definitely wrong when students today are already in debt the moment they come out of University. That’s just student loans. It’s worse if they have credit cards. How do you expect a fresh graduate to be able to afford a house or even get married. While a small scale wedding only costs $500, it takes at least RM10k for a Chinese to get married.

Oh and shopping in Sungai Wang isn’t cheap. Found out a hat I bought for RM19.90 in the midst of RM60 hats is only RM10 at a Bazaar in Danau Kota. Going there tonight, and I don’t even need free cash vouchers.

‎"But why?!" Says Poay Ling and Boon Hoe in front of one of the lines going into Uniqlo.

So yeah. Thus was our trip out on the Thursday. Needless to say, we didn’t enter because we figured the shop wouldn’t be going anywhere soon and headed towards the said Sungai Wang. A night stop at Petaling Street further pushed the boundaries of budgeting I was looking around for stuff for the coming Singapore Camp. Was looking for a bag but couldn’t' find one that matched the price. But got this overpriced bootleg G-Shock. =D

Looks like real right? RM26.

So who wants to come with me to the Baazar tonight?

Gmail.

2010-11-02T20:39:00.001+08:00

Why I love Gmail.

Genius!

My Obsession

2010-11-01T19:28:00.001+08:00

Woke up this morning with a bounce in my steps and a feeling that it was going to be a great day. And it was. Thanks Suit. Hanging is always fun!

And so is Supercamp!

***

Anyway. I don’t know if most people know this but I am a sucker for stationery. I recognize myself as OCD but when it comes to stationery, I am VERY OCD. It’s the feeling of being able to choose exactly what kind of tools you’ll use to write and create. Oh Gosh when it comes to choosing pens and pencils I could go crazy. Not to mention scissors, markers (GOSH MARKERS!) inks, post it notes, tape, etc.

I think one of the reasons is because of my upbringing as my dad never allowed me to have bad stationery. He always bought me pencils that were branded. Once, when I was 8 years old, he got me an RM10 Pentel mechanical pencil and I still have the second one till today. (I lost the first one.) Colour pencils in my house were always Staedtler. Likewise for pencils. Pencil leads were Pentel and Pilot.

What makes it even more exciting is that Poay Ling is equally obsessed with Stationery and we both can go crazy over them. Her story is pretty similar. She used to work with her mom in a stationery shop REPAIRING mechanical pencils. Just my kind of girl.

So you can imagine when we made our way to this place:

Went to heaven and came back.

p.s.: Thermosetting Resin glue is fantastic. =D

Anticipation that Satisfies.

2010-11-01T01:34:00.001+08:00

Have you ever been in a situation where you anticipate something really badly? Go ahead and think about that experience. Was it a package you’ve been waiting for in the mail? Or perhaps being able to finally be able to go on that ride at the theme park. Think about how you're feeling as you revisit those memories. Did you feel like life just stepped up a notch for you?

Go ahead now and think about you anticipating something. You anticipate it so bad that your heart races at the thought of the moment arriving. It’s so exciting that everything else just pales in comparison to what is about to arrive. We know that the longer we wait for something, the more rewarding the experience when it does come and when it does, nothing beats the amazing feeling of achievement that you can’t help but feel the electricity flow through every neuron of your body.

People usually ask me about what Supercamp is. However the way I describe it does not do justice to the wonders of the program in the first place. I usually tell them it’s an accelerated learning program and while that is fundamentally true, a monumental amount of meaning and life changing experience goes into the learning process and the end result is the accumulation of experiences that will change your life.

The last two days for me has been definitely one of these amazingly powerful days as I was given the opportunity to relive life in Supercamp and right now the feeling is beyond amazing. This surge of amazing memories and experiences is something that I guess I’ve been looking forward to. The beauty of the relationships formed during time with the staff, campers and self is something that I cannot find elsewhere except here. Even as I lie in bed thinking about how to form this post, I am flooded with all the feelings of amazingness that come with the work put into making the programme a success.

In retrospect, I just wished I was able to do even more camps because I want to be able to be a part of people who are like minded in terms of passion and love for joy and fun done in the 200% way. To be able to meet and work with so many people who are like spirited and bear/enjoy each others company, I think the magic of the thing is when you can see real and I mean REAL changes and relationships formed in such a short time. To see real results and real action, drives me to want to be an even greater part of this life changing education technology that 100% works. To see such joy be able to be created with just sheer will alone is encouraging enough for me.

As I lie down, exhausted to the bone, I know that it’s not lethargy but the sweet smell of success that permeates the muscles of my body. I am blessed to have been able to be a part of this wonderful family and I just CAN’T WAIT for more.

You

2010-10-29T02:06:00.001+08:00

These are but a few of the gigabytes of pictures I’ve been painfully ignoring the last 6 months. Thanks Teaching Practice. So yeah. Want to get this off my hard disk. =D

So on the first day I did not have teaching practice anymore I dashed off to Campus to meet people. I parked my car right in front of the bus stop as people were looking at me. Not surprising as waiting for the UM bus can be a real bore. Like most busses here in Bolehland. Really if there’s one thing that we can do to move our country forward is to make busses come on time. Seriously. RapidKL? My foot. (could get me to where ever I wanted to go faster that the bus.)

Okay anyway.

First person I saw was Miss P. On her way to the KPS she said. So I was really glad to see a familiar face after so long. =)

Then George came along and the day just got better from then. I was in delightful shock to see the mohawk. =) Nice one.

From then on I just kept meeting people. I know I was supposed to have some sort of meeting but I can’t remember the reason why I was there in the first place. So yeah. That’s the delightful adidi.

Ben. Cool guy.

Tim. Also my friend.

Yeah.

Posting.

2010-10-27T14:37:00.001+08:00

Haha. I was supposed to blog everyday but I guess it’s harder that it looks. But really, sometimes I just wonder if it’s too much writing about myself that will make this blog a little stale. So when I write, there will be a bit of hesitance. But then again, bloggers like Xia Xue talk about themselves all the time. Perhaps it’s the perspective they have.

Readings off the net tell me that a good blog comments on a very specific subject. Or a particular style. Like tech or make up or something. I suppose that if you wanted to sum up my blog it’d be about life I guess. The life most people go through. And if you can identify with the stuff I go through and can engage the perspectives then I guess we’ve got ourselves a niche audience then.

One of the blogs I’m constantly inspired by is by this runner/teacher who says a lot of things that makes sense. Here’s a guy that I share a profession with and I every time I read his entries, I’m encouraged that there are things that he goes through that I can identify with too. Like students and the education system. Perhaps I’m also interested in seeing stuff that I might go through in the future.

So yeah, posting quality blog posts are not easy and they require discipline. I guess that’s why I want to do this. To rediscipline myself to do things that are important. It’s a form of reflection for me. If I can write it down, it makes a whole lot more sense to me, and I’m more likely to stick to it. Studies show that if someone writes something down, they’re more likely to do it because not only is it a more concrete proof of what they said, it becomes a way for someone to be accountable.

tsk* Well the bible talked about it when God told Zepheniah about the vision.

^2-3And then God answered: "Write this.
   Write what you see.
Write it out in big block letters
   so that it can be read on the run.
This vision-message is a witness
   pointing to what's coming.

****

I’ve got lots of photos to post. It’s different when you post photos on Facebook. Sort of becomes like everyone else. Upload. Tag. Comment. Like. End.

it just feels different when you can post them up here. Don’t as me why. It just does.

Teaching Practice

2010-10-23T02:06:00.001+08:00

Well I just completed my reflection assignment last week and I suppose it would be redundant to repeat all of it again. But I also don’t want to copy and paste that report here just for the sake of another post.

If I were to sum up the entire experience in one word, Teaching Practice for me would probably be enlightening. To me, all the beliefs and all the theories and speculations about teaching in a public school has finally come to light. One of the most delightful experiences is certainly being able to see the classroom from the other side facing the students, and being able to understand both sides of the story (having being a student for the last 1 and a half decades) is exciting enough.

I wouldn’t exactly say the entire experience was a very pleasant one. Not because the school was bad for the teachers there were very supportive and friendly. I never felt awkward there. But it was the tedious drill of the job that made it hard. The repetitive process was not too nice. But I suppose that’s what it’s all about, this working world.

It was also nice to have some of the church teens there.An experience I’ve sometimes thought about.

I had lots of fun classes. But one of the most fun was surprisingly a Saturday class where I taught them some Haikus. Being it a Saturday, naturally kids would skip the classes. But the joy on the faces of some of the students made it a memorable experience. I mean, it’s like they discovered that they had the ability to write poetry and it took so little effort when all this time poetry was not made known to them something as impactful as this.

***

I managed to catch a few photos with the bit of spare time I had.

Kids from 2G et. al.

Kids from 1B

My desk in the staffroom. =D

Someone had a birthday!

Bro and his bros.

More gifts from the kids.

Journal entry.

So they threw me a farewell party. =D

Spontaneous durian potluck in the staffroom.

Yeah. I’m just glad God’s grace was abundant all the way. It’s interesting that I spent so many nights imagining what Teaching Practice would be about, I would have never imagined it the way it turned out to be. There were times when I thought I would be giving like tear jerking motivational speeches, but in reality, I gave scoldings because of overdue homework. I would also never have guessed that lessons about death would be so real to the class; as real as a group discussion about their future.

The truth is, our kids aren’t stupid. They have hearts, and dreams and a future, if you let them, if you’re willing to dig in the trench with them and wrestle with their minds and thoughts. Pretty soon you’ll find that twenty years down the road, a familiar stranger will shout that familiar name out amongst the crowd and you’ll know, what all the years of hard work was for.

Spankin!

2010-10-21T18:10:00.001+08:00

Woohoo! Looks like we’ve got ourselves a new Windows Live Writer.

Between these ears.

2010-10-21T13:35:00.001+08:00

I’ve decided to rededicate myself to writing at least one post per day. It helps me retrain myself to be able to sit down and focus on something without being distracted with the all proliferating internet.

It doesn’t help that the tool you need to create and invent is the very same one that acts like a television. The problem with this kind of dual function is that it can theoretically affect productivity.

It is a known effect that certain places like the kitchen and the bedroom have anchors in the mind. For instance, try studying on the bed. While you may be more accustomed or used to it, a majority of us will honestly say we’ve fallen asleep. Why?

Because the place that we choose tells the brain how to react. To the mind, the bed is a place of sleeping so it is only natural that once you lie down on your mattress, your brain tells the body to start resting. The sleep hormones that make your eyelids feel like lead start flooding your bloodstream, affecting especially the higher brain functions (studying, thinking, cognition) and telling them to just chill. yawn*

Similarly, having a tool that serves both as a place of work and play often times gives the brain a reason to take more time playing and get carried away.

But then again you could call all that balderdash. You might say “Look at Google and Facebook” They’ve got a whole complex dedicated to infusing play into work. Perhaps. Perhaps that is the nature of the job.

Perhaps it all boils down to how disciplined the mind and body is. Really, blaming something else rarely brings you forward. Most of the time, it all boils down to what’s inside of you and what you believe.

***

Actually, the reason for writing this post was because of this article I found that talked about the fragmentation of our younger society caused by the overuse of the internet. http://www.conversantlife.com/technology/gaga-speak

The article says that because the new generation is spending so much time on the internet, ‘socializing’ it has come to a point that they have forgotten how to read and demonstrate body language. Everyone knows that 70% of what you communicate comes from your body language, and it is precisely this fact that has me worried about our kids. No wonder that if you talked to any 13 year old on the street today, you would find them a little shy and drawn back. Heck they don’t know how to respond! They stare at you. Then you talk to them on the internet and BOOM they’re like these chatterboxes.

I mean, I’ve seen it happen like again and again especially when I meet teens all the time in the schools, church and centers I teach in.

And most worrying is the fragmentation of information you and I and our teens are getting off the internet. Small piece here. A picture off tumblr. A post on twitter. I mean, if our kids are growing up in this medium and form of communication, it’s no wonder that their responses sometimes don’t exceed 10 words.

But of course, lots of other factors: parents, upbringing, personality. But true story. Cool guy, intelligent, smart. Went overseas to study. Had fast broadband. Stuck at the computer. After 2 years, he was reduced to a Gollum like state, not wanting to go out of the house. Shivered when he saw lots of people. True story.

So yeah. Wise up kids. You’ve got the most advanced bio-supercomputer in between those ears. Let’s do something about them shall we?

Resurgence

2010-10-20T13:59:00.001+08:00

Money can be a real bitch. I mean, when you’ve got a lot of it, people fight. When you don’t have enough, people fight. I suppose it’s a real bitch because it gives people a reason to rear their ugly head.

Like when we had a friend who wanted to offer us free Paramore tickets if he won it from Hitz. He did and suddenly decided that RM130 would be a good price for them. If we had won, we would have given it to him no doubt about it.

And so I heard that at yesterday’s concert, people could bribe their way into the RM300+ Rock Zone. This means that if you bought your tickets for RM98 and suddenly decided you wanted to dance near the stage, you could then pay off the guards and happily join the crowd.

Ignorance is your new best friend.

I don’t know. Money can definitely put strain on relationships. If I choose to work for free, what’s it to you? If your issue is the petrol then tell me and I will pay. After all, I was paid in the form of meals. Meals that you didn’t need to pay for. Meals that you probably wouldn’t buy me on a regular basis not that I demand for them in the first place. And while your logic I saw before you said, my reasons for not taking pay far extend your monetary perception of things. If it was a big company I don’t mind. But here we have a small company and creating favors sometimes go a much further way than having the wage now. After all, didn’t you drill the term ‘delayed gratification’

And you. Why do you blame me for what has happened? Here I am trying to give the best and you accuse me of being selfish. If I was REALLY selfish, I would have asked you for the pay. Or better yet, told you I wasn’t free. I am still a student after all so let me be one till it ends. I’ve never blinked an eye when buying things for you. Yet when I want to buy stuff for myself, you call me selfish? Giving to my parents is yes I have overlooked (nor was it in my upbringing in the first place; but I do not disagree), but do not pull that and the issue of pay together.

Why have I written this? Because I’ve not been given a chance to explain. I’ve only been faced with walls of other opinions and perceptions of things. What about what I see? What about what I want to do? Haven’t I done enough. What IS enough then? I suppose that if the drone of your own rock solid ideals are enough to drown my pleas, then they shall be heard here. Where you my reader will.

2010-10-20T00:34:00.001+08:00

The meal's a sham.

Untitled

2010-10-07T10:20:00.001+08:00

Okays so it’s been a very very long time since I posted a long blog post. Well this isn’t going to be it. xD

See if I have drive later in the afternoon. After all, I’ve got some paper work to finish.

Musings

2010-09-29T13:15:00.001+08:00

Ben has a lot of free thinking time.,

I’m happy!

2010-09-22T15:09:00.001+08:00

Without leafs from that big tree I hid under, the view is fantastic. :) - Suit Lin

Yes Suit. It sure is =D

So far

2010-09-01T15:54:00.001+08:00

It’s 20 minutes till my class for the day and it will be about poetic structures. While many posts and pictures are in line to be posted, I’ve refrained from them due to the nature of my work which prevents me from being too explicit with the thoughts and sharing of my experiences. Also because something was wrong with my live writer and it’s communication with the servers at blogspot.

I only can say this, if anything to sum up the experiences so far, that is all this has been by the grace of God who has pulled me through so much and I know with what’s coming, he will pull me through anyway.

Wishlist

2010-09-01T15:39:00.001+08:00

It is in times like these that honest photos like this, say the most at the very least.

Conversations

2010-07-24T21:34:00.001+08:00

Me: You have 22 friend requests?
Brother 2: Yeah
Me: But?
Brother 2: I want to feel more famous.
Me: Facepalm*

Facepalm moment*

2010-07-13T20:12:00.001+08:00

Spoonerism fail. Translate to malay as you read.

Teacher: So what are you doing? (To teacher 2 who was facebooking)

Kee Aun: Buka Muku!

Teacher 2: Huh? Oh. Haha.

Teacher: Oh.

Great first impression. xD

Teaching Practice

2010-07-12T02:03:00.001+08:00

I had planned a post to mark the pre- teaching practice but I think I’ll just shelve it. As the finals are on now, I’m just glad I’m in the afternoon session xD

Urbanscapes 2010

2010-07-07T01:53:00.001+08:00

Lol I know this is a bit late but nevertheless, here it is.

My story with urbanscapes actually began one week before my thesis dateline. I had thought that in order to be able to and buy stuff, you had to buy the tickets. So I signed up as a volunteer. Then the week after that I met up with the organizers and found out that my job involved serving beer and carting crates around.

Then I discovered that the Paradise Band workshops clashed and I was devastated. But I knew that God was asking me to choose between the two, and I’m glad I chose Church because I had an amazing and refreshing time serving.

I’ll always remember what Poay Ling said when I was talking to her about the decisions I had to make. She said “I’d rather you served God than serve beer.”

But I’m glad that I later on found out the truth from Abigail. So yeah. I went twice before and after the workshop. I must also mention that the concert that night was amazing. God was truly moving that night.

So in the morning, I managed to go with the girls.

We arrived at the moment they finished Projek Angkat Rumah

So there’s Huda and Firdy and Adila. Lavi was also with us.

This shot was taken by Lavi! Thanks for sending some of the pics over for this post.

This was some sort of musical contraption. Each cup, when a hand was placed in it, would trigger a specific sound. So you’d get this electronica kind of mash-up.

But lol for sure these pictures do no do justice to the amazing things I saw that day. There were amazing stores selling amazing things. I myself got a watch from a blogshop and am in love with it.

I got the one on the right.

Another blogshop I chanced upon were these enthusiastic people who baked amazing stuff. They call themselves Rain-Dough Desserts and had amazing cupcakes coming from them.

I was also lucky enough to catch up with KARYA again and snagged some more awesome name tags from them. I’m still wondering about the cost of those name tags. I went to enquire about making one for my teaching practice and it was about RM7. KARYA is selling the same tags for half that price. What’s more, the names on them are awesome. =D

But the highlight for me was being able to meet so many friends. =D

So that’s Rachel on the left whom I’ve not seen in person for such a long time. (3 years) since and Li-Shia who was there for 8TV. =D I’m so glad you got to work there for your L.I. (Pic with Li-Shia was also by Lavi)

***

It was later in the evening that I took Angelina Kein there cause I was hoping to be able to catch the girls before they left but I was a wee bit too late. But she was very keen on going and I figured that my other salty skins shirt could use a touch of KARYA’s new silkscreens.

But in the end, okay la, I think it’s a great event because it brings out KL’s art and urban culture and we get to see it all concentrated in one place. Angelina was saying how everyone here was looking so stylish. I couldn’t agree more. Everyone there dressed so cantikly.

By the time we left the place had already begun to transform into a clubbish sort of setting. I’m glad that at the end I didn’t end up being a volunteer or I would have had to endure the smoky environment for 5 hours through the night.

But I’ve got no complaints as the best part of Urbanscapes was defo because of the amazing people I got to hang out with. =D

Pre-Sem

2010-07-06T23:44:00.001+08:00

So it was yesterday I had my pre-semester ritual out with friends and it was good not only because of the company but because I had a chance to reflect upon all that has happened. Some say that when you reach your final year, you get into this state of mind which compels you to think of all that has happened and all that will happen.

Yesterday was also special because Lavi gave us the opportunity to have a go at debates again. While I’m relieved that I can still speak, I realized that I need to begin analyzing things and get past the surface. Anyone can talk, any one can sound intelligent but the challenge is to engage issues and be able to look at them through different perspectives.

I thought also about the nature of humans and how we are constantly seeking to be valued. Like the brilliant student who finds his identity in having good grades, or the dancer that practices tirelessly to be able to do that routine, or the thief that steals because he finds that he gets attention because of what he is doing. At the root of these things, is the desire to be acknowledged and to be associated with an identity if not for survival.

***

So I was able to meet up with Ben especially in these times that he is going to graduate. =D

He was right. Prof. Nor Edzan does know what she’s doing.

3rd Floor

OH GOSH! DAILYFRESH in UM!

***

Then I went with Ah Choy to jemput Lavi and Adila and meet up with Firdy at 5th where we were to hang out. =D Here I found out about how Haluansiswa was run this year. More on that next time.

I’m glad I was able to get photos from Lavi and Ben. Yes, Adila, we know. =P

Hellooo?

2010-06-28T17:47:00.001+08:00

I think it’s time for an update. Because I can’t tahan the advert already.

There. now move below Ronnie.

Happenings in 5 secs:

Thesis finished
Paradise Band and what I learnt
Captain ball is coming!
Music, music, music! Yeayy!
Designing
Bro is back
oh! PKV JV is coming!

And I’m still hoping to pry some photos off Lavi and Ben. One in Seremban, another in Hawaii.

Who’s Ronnie?

2010-06-19T12:47:00.001+08:00

No really, it’s pretty good!

Updates.

2010-06-18T22:01:00.001+08:00

Boon Aun's blood isn't responding to the treatments. =( Please pray along okay? Pray the white blood cell count will drop. Pray there will be a cure.

Pray the Doctors will not be greedy.

It’s confirmed!

2010-06-16T01:16:00.001+08:00

Great news! Brother is doing well. Diagnosis is final. He's having hypereosinophilia. It's a very rare type of blood disorder. Treatment began 2 days ago. Hopefully he'll be discharged within the next two days. Praise God! Thank you ALL for praying along. =D

Conversations I love

2010-06-15T23:32:00.001+08:00

joanneliyeng says:
KAUNTAN
the vegetables are attacking!
Kaun Tan says:
eh.
no worries
the kambing is their worse enemy
joanneliyeng says:
i'm serioussss. earlier today my friend had a Carrot Lim add him on facebook
Kaun Tan says:
ehmbeeekk
oh God.
joanneliyeng says:
HAHA ARE YOU THE KAMBING!
i kid you not!
Kaun Tan says:
haha
kid
joanneliyeng says:
then we tot
Kaun Tan says:
xD
joanneliyeng says:
who so ridiculous
we went on search frenzy on facebook
we uncovered
Kaun Tan says:
hahaha
for vegetables
joanneliyeng says:
Papaya See
Kaun Tan says:
OHMAIGOSH
joanneliyeng says:
Mango Choo
Pineapple Ng
SERIOUS ONE
Kaun Tan says:
facepalm
facepalm x 2
can I post this?
xD
muahahah
joanneliyeng says:
YES

Not to save my RM 2

2010-06-15T20:21:00.001+08:00

Today I am reminded why I use the duke and why RM2 is worth it even through at the end of the highway leading on to Jalan Jelatek is jammed. I decided against my impulses which I’ve so long depended on and have been wanting to wean off; instead to make my way through Jalan Universiti to the Sprint Highway. It was 5.53pm when I left Amcorp Mall and made my way through the said road.

I could have taken the road through UM and escaped through the Damansara gate to lead me to slight bottle neck at the junction to Penchala Link after which would have led me to the DUKE and hence home. All in 15 minutes.

But Nnoooo.. I reasoned with myself that I HAD to know if the time you saved was less than the amount of petrol being burnt at the 8 stop points along the non paid route. (See the Cina in me?)

Today, I’m a firm believer that nothing will ever make me go home from Campus from 5pm to 9pm along the federal roads. Not especially Jalan Pahang and Jalan Genting Klang.

Not after that experience.

(I dodged the bizarre Genting Klang jam and escaped through Jalan Tun Razak to Jalan Semarak which led me to the back yard of Sri Rampai which I think shaved off about 15 minutes worth dementing heat and noise.)

Duit Makan

2010-06-14T20:02:00.001+08:00

Setting Up

2010-06-14T14:28:00.001+08:00

So was at NexGen last Saturday and helping set up for Nex Gen’s church. This is Ju Yi’s dog. It is a lazy dog. It does not bite, does not bark, it’s like a cat. That is my kind of dog. And it looks so beautiful too.

Preparing the temporary window covers.

Wash and drying

The LCD operator can’t see through walls!

Serious face for fun!

The last of the 170 chairs being washed.

She was cleaning only to realize the footprints she had left behind.

I felt great after the 6pm when it ended. I felt so alive and purposeful. I had only wished that instead of the 8 that came, the 21 on facebook should have come too. Nevertheless, by God’s grace, the young people can grow and be strong in the Lord.

Karya

2010-06-14T14:10:00.001+08:00

Art for Grabs happened last week and my main purpose was to get some shirts hand printed by Karya. That’s where I got some pretty cool stuff the last time but this time I came prepared with Salty Skins shirts thanks to Salty Skins. I promised them photos of the shirt but give some time kay. They’re drying out in the sun now after wash, and we’ll put em on for photos.

While this time around wasn’t half as great as The Seamstress wasn’t there selling and it was only half the Annexe because the other half was for the Alternative book fest. There were a few repeats as well so it wasn’t as great.

Neways they were selling Urbanscapes tickets there. I’ve never been to it but I imagine a lot of artsy fartsy things happening. Do check it out if you have the chance.

I think the most amazing thing is that Naadia a founder of Karya asked about my brother. I think that speaks volumes about how technology is bringing the world closer together.

At the bookfest I chanced on a book by Phillip Pullman. One that I had not seen before. Turnsout it’s a brand new short prequel to the His Dark Materials trilogy.

What’s cool about the book is that it’s not in sale in Malaysia yet and there’s a board game inside along with manuscripts of thw world Lyra lives in. While I got it for RM 35, I’m guessing the price for it here if it comes should be around the same.

I like how closely it stays to the book and feel of the story as it isn’t some extra the publishers put in to give it a bit of a hyped up value. (I would have bought it even if it didn’t have the game) but it’s very unique and subtly reflects Pullman’s style of writing.

Thus far.

2010-06-14T13:49:00.001+08:00

Only a few of the many who came for Boon Aun. =D Thanks to all for giving the support he needs. He got more gifts than all our gifts put together on Christmas. xD =D Today marks the 6th day he’s been in his room and Doctors have almost come to a conclusion about what’s been happening.

Thanks so much for all the prayers. Because of your labour, our lives have been blessed.

Praise Jesus.

*****

While we’re at it, football season has made stuff like this happen.

On love.

2010-06-08T22:00:00.001+08:00

You might have heard the phrase ‘love is a verb’ it’s an action not a feeling. To the people who believe in that, I say well done. Too many people today are confused with the feelings they feel when they think they’re in love. Yeah the holding of hands, and sweet words, emotional security is wonderful when it starts, but when the hormones wear out, you say you’re out of love.

I think it takes a lot of guts to say those three words to someone you care about because in reality it means that you’ll be patient with that person. You hold on to being close no matter what. A lot of times it takes selfless care and sacrifice all for the good of the other person.

Naturally, you might ask “What about the boundaries? When does it end?” Well honestly, I don’t know how to answer that question. I can’t. Only you can because each one of us have within us different strengths and potential to be strong. How much we want to allow, how much we want to pace ourselves for the sake of the relationship is entirely up to you.

But past that, you’ll soon find that if we don’t build our relationships on the emotions and good feelings, we allow for us to be real to ourselves and to whoever is reciprocating the relationship.

Go ahead and check this article out.

Ask your mom, your dad, see if it’s true that what it takes is more than just fun feelings.

Hey love takes commitment and strength and courage. No one said it would be easy. =)

****

Oh and check out this Dance Workshop. Recommended by Hyma!

For the adventurous

2010-06-07T20:31:00.001+08:00

Summerbreak sounds like the thing for you if you like many others like to travel and meet new people at a budget of RM300.

To an island! With a 4 days 3 nights stay at a hotel you, and the whole group will have to yourself.

Check it out!

Let that be enough

2010-06-04T00:08:00.001+08:00

I’m tired of trying to grow up.

Why can’t I be who I am when I’m supposed to be.

That song by Switchfoot could not be more real to me than now.

Oh Lord, what are you doing.

An hour to go

2010-06-01T11:19:00.001+08:00

Here I am
At your feet

In my brokenness complete

Unashamed – Starfield

Dear Lord, I pray you be with me this whole week in the observation and interview process. May you bless the people I’m gonna interview with clear minds. Keep my mind and heart in check too Lord. Keep me focused oh God. I pray against all hardware malfunction. I pray for good answers for the paper. I commit this research into your hands. May it be to glorify your name. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen

Church Dedication

2010-05-31T18:59:00.001+08:00

So Metro Tabernacle’s building dedication came and went. it’s true, this is merely the beginning of a whole lot of things ahead. There’s going to be a whole new way to roll the ball. I really don’t know what to expect. But I know that if we trust God, we won’t go wrong.

A view of the stage. Hui Min mentioned that it looked exactly like a Megachurch.

Hey there!

I initially thought ushers were actually banner bearers.

Now these beautiful ladies are the ushers.

That’s the180kg cake in the shape of the church building

With all this change, I hope some things won’t change. Like the closeness we have with each other. That in spite of the size, we still remain down to earth, humble and faithful to the call. That we may continue to be forgiving and loving just as God has called us to be. To hold on to values that are important to us as Christians.

The next generation has got to be ready. It’s going to be our ride soon.

This week the trend

2010-05-31T01:10:00.001+08:00

I’ll be visiting the schools to make my observations this week and It’s really going to depend on the grace of God. I don’t know how this is going to turn out but I’m going to give it a shot.

I’ll be heading over to schools where I’m part of the alumni to do my research.

Twittering about this week’s visit, I was so blessed to have had these teachers in my life. I didn’t have the chance to take pictures of them but I will tomorrow. Hopefully. =D

I did however chance to take this photo of the stuff my school canteen used to sell and I’m surprised that things have not changed the last 10 years.

Well I don’t know about you but this is exactly what I used to spend mu RM0.60 on sometimes (if I could bear with the taste.) I mean, it’s down to the plate colour that it’s identical.

After taking this photo I had a very wholesome talk with Pn. Yong my form 4 and 5 English teacher and we revisited all the fond memories of stuff that made learning great. She reminded me also of the time I went up and scolded some organizer. I don’t remember it but she said the guy was so embarrassed. xD

More on this soon as I continue my plough through Merriam’s Case Study book.

Girl next door,

2010-05-31T00:42:00.001+08:00

Poay Ling is literally the girl next door.

PoayLing says:
hi, guy next door
Kaun Tan says:
hahahahahaha
hi girl next door!

A Prayer

2010-05-29T13:48:00.001+08:00

God bless Kee Aun's mind- grant him creativity, wisdom and the ability to express accurately and clearly in writing,

may his thesis not only earn him good experience and good grades but also be a blessing to readers and the education community at large. let it be glorifying to Your Name - AMEN!

Wong Hui Min

Thanks Hui Min. For the encouragement in times when it seems like I’m the only one believing in looking past the work.

It late.

2010-05-27T05:30:00.001+08:00

In the twilight of this cold and starting Thursday, the only source of light besides the single white fluorescent lamp that illuminates my workplace is the pale orange glow from the street lamp outside my window. Being on the first floor lets you see some things in a unique way for you are neither too far from ground nor too high up -- close enough for the tossing of stuff from home to the forgetful family member downstairs nor are you too near the ground safe -- from pungent and untimely odours and flight enabled blood sucking creatures. (The ground floor inhabitants act to distract them from us above but lately there have been more mosquitoes here and less inhabitants down there.)

My fluorescent illuminated table is brightly lit with and one glance at the stacks on it will draw anyone’s attention to four main colours on it. Black covers a quarter of it as it is the colour of my Thinkpad, Mouse and phone. The augmented white is the result of the many stacks of printed academic journals reflecting the blinding effects of the tube above my head. There are snippets of bright neon greens and oranges like they were leaves in a bush of white on the desk. Notes to remind me where I can find proof of this idea or concepts that are noteworthy. Adding to that are two Mr. Sketch markers i.e. the lime and orange one. To match the green and orange post-it’s of course.

Despite the fact that I’m a confessed addict to technology, my kinaesthetic side of me refuses to give in. Which is why I have these stacks of paper all over my table burying more stacks of paper from the library, instead of a Kindle or an iPad. No, my brain rebels and refuses to work under such artificial circumstances and insists only on the flexibility and power of processed fibre, colouring, and graphite to which I have no complaints except that printing so much can be costly.

Yes this is for my academic research. A mini thesis they call it.

Today is Thursday and in the back of my mind, I’m praying very hard I’ll have a place to do my observations. A clear lack of foresight has ended me up in a precariously tight situation on the calendar. Having failed to include the school holidays into the planning, I’m now left with very few options with which I can do my observations. What’s more, the dateline draws nearer and nearer. Thursday is also Poay Ling’s off day. And so is Friday for this week. Happy Wesak if you happen to celebrate it.

Sepotong Syurga

2010-05-18T02:41:00.001+08:00

I was just telling Firdy about this place. And I think I mentioned this to Suit as well. When I ate this. It tasted exactly like the cakes my dad makes. Now. that can only mean two things.

1. My dad is secretly selling his cakes under this guise. Insurance agent by day, wonderbaker by night!

2. My dad’s cakes are at a godlike standard.

Anyway,this place is famous for awesome cakes. Secret Recipe? Tapau lah. Bakers Cottage? Sorry wrong league. It’s not the price that makes these cakes special. Mind you they are not cheap. I don’t know how to describe it. I can confidently say this because Suit who has a hard to satisfy sweet tooth for it only passes the best.

Visit:

Slice of Heaven, by Just Heavenly.
Still serving you pleasure.
@Jaya One
Blk E, B2
No. 72A Jalan Universiti
46200, Petaling Jaya

Edit: seee new batch.

People can kill for these. I however would kill for something else.

Ninjas

2010-05-18T01:44:00.001+08:00

There’s something about ninja’s that I really like. I think they’re just cool. And even cooler is a brand new Malaysian owned Burger chain called NINJA JOE!

There are many blogs out there who have already made posts about the place and a lot of the hype is there because firstly they serve PORK BURGERS. Secondly is the whole concept that the store well embodies. Minimalist, clean, young and serious.

These are shuriken nuggets. Pork with potatoes. Not too bad but not really great either.

What’s really the highlight of the place are the burgers. Poay Ling and I favour the oriental one the most although ALL of them taste absolutely fantastic! One of the first things my brothers talked about after tasting them was that the buns were soft and filling. I found that besides the amazing meat patty, what was most amazing was how fresh the vegetables seemed. REAL crunchy lettuce with mind blowing onion rings and tomatoes that were actually thick. It’s also not overdone with mayo and sauces so it really makes it a very unique burger.

I’ll say that one is NOT enough for the average Malaysian so that’s why there’s this the more you buy the cheaper they get system. Well more info from here. They also have a big sized burger called the Bog Boss but I’d hone in on the various flavours which will come up to about the same.

Lavi also mentioned and I agree with her that the lemonade they serve isn’t powdery and fake like at places like KFC and McD’s.

I can’t wait to see how this restaurant will grow. This is defo a market that can be tapped and the simplistic yet honest approach to it is a breath of fresh air to overdone businesses that lack originality and passion, which ninja Joe does not lack.

Notes.

2010-05-17T02:21:00.001+08:00

Even after this long, I'm still IN LOVE with the songs of Jon Chu.

Before I die I'll make sure those tracks are on an album recorded and immortalised. Or my name is not Tan Kee Aun.

Pipit Wonderful Market!

2010-05-16T01:48:00.001+08:00

I’ve always had the facination for birds. In fact if you didn’t know, I've begun to hide these birds in some of my recent designs. I think that’s what convinced me to go even in the last minute when I found out about it. Through Facebook. And I’m glad I went cos I got to bring Amelia there too. Thanks for coming Bee Leng!

see more at http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=170250&id=733013945&l=191613cb22

With Firdy, George and Adila there, the day could not have been better along side the beautiful pieces of art I got. =D A moustache anyone?

Epiphany on the Playlist

2010-05-10T12:02:00.001+08:00

Everyone of us has stumbled
Everybody's humbled

-Toby Mac-

Briefly

2010-05-09T00:38:00.001+08:00

I know I should update soon.

About the thoughts: like visions and dreams and the lack of computer games.

and the events: the Metro Carnival, the birthday abduction and the Mid Valley escapades

and the work: thesis, finding a new supervisor, and probable Singapore.

Reviews

2010-05-03T14:55:00.001+08:00

So yesterday night me and Poay Ling in our excitement tried out the new TGV in Wangsa Walk Mall. To understand the source of our excitement, one must understand that this is the first cinema that’s been so close to our house. For me it’s the 3rd, having the other two torn down to be replaced with some other shops. It also means that we don’t have to go so far anymore to watch movies, something that we both love doing a lot.

We first heard about the opening when we wee walking about in Wangsa Walk in the afternoon doing some grocery shopping. Being it a habit, we would not fail to go check out the cinema on the top floor. Usually the place would be boarded up but this time around, an to our delight, the place was ready. What a coincidence to that the opening would be yesterday night and we were also itching to watch Ais Kacang Puppy Love with Suit Lin’s recommendation. With the coming of Iron Man 2 which was to flood the screens and inevitably put Ais Kacang Puppy Love out of the screening lists.So we were glad that we were able to catch the show before it reached the end of its cycle.

So anyway, on the cinema. I think it’s pretty grand for a local cinema. It’s got a very small waiting longue although sufficient amount of ticket booths to handle the crowd. Buying tickets was also easy as I didn’t have to wait very long. The counters were a bit different from the ones you would see at GSC. I don’t know about other TGV cinemas but this one had two screens for each counter. One for the customer and one for the ticket counter operator. There are no up sides to this arrangement as it wastes resources and it does not help when customers want to point to the seats but the operator can’t see where the customer is pointing to.

That aside I think the most impressive thing about the cinema is that it’s got at least 10 screens. The seats are pretty comfy unlike the ones in Cathay which inclines a little forward making it hard to lean. If you’ve ever been to my church and have sat on the seats in the main hall, that’s how the seats in TGV feel like.

I think that technical errors on the first day of screening is expected. Jeremy reports having a bad experience with TGV when his Iron Man 2 movie was stopped halfway for 20 minutes. The screen just went blank. What’s worse they didn’t continue the movie at the part where it stopped. It just went on. Several patrons went out and demanded a refund.

I didn’t have that in my movie however. But they did forget to turn off the house lights when the movie started. A little note to the ushers solved the problem.

****

Ais Kacang Puppy Love is a movie set in the late 1980’s in the northen part of Peninsular particularly in Penang and tells the story of a group of childhood friends and their misadventures with their affections for one another.

A lot of the scenes are well designed with great angles and colours. A favourite of mine is when they’re pouring the fighting fish in the pond. The ones of the sketches are also nice.

Props used like the old Malaysian Money make it a bit more believable. However, the money looks too new.

Highlighting cultures like marbles, and fighting fish are things that people used to play before the arrival of the mind numbing computer games. The movie greatly excels in this.

And while the movie is stock rich with images of the honest childhood most Malaysians will be able to identify with and the beautiful scenes designed, it severely lacks in scene and storyline integrity. Like many local movie productions, it tries too much to ride on the cultural bandwagon and uses the unique things that Malaysians will relate to like the Chines culture and the Indian barber; even more so since this movie is set in Penang, THE heritage centre. What it does not do is tie in these effects with a good story line.

Every scene in a movie should have a reason as movies, should like literature be able to evoke specific emotions in the viewer while tying it to the storyline. By effectively using the scenes and timing the emotions which need to be evoked with the scenes, the movie maker has hence made a decent movie. In this movie there are a lot of emotion evoking scenes or rather attempts at it but what irks me is that they have no meaning. A lot of scenes with good ideas are shown but are not resolved at the end which results with the viewer left dissatisfied.

The scene at the crossroads is the result of the love hate relationships between the characters. The director has built up a good set up of the characters. Everyone is in love with someone else. Great. So at the climax, they end up meeting each other. They stare. A great areal shot illustrates this. Crossroads mean choice. Direction.

Now what? The movie doesn’t say. Instead it leaves it at that and expects the viewers to think about it. The thing is while typical to a lot of Chinese style movie making ala Taiwan, leaving it at that with that ‘It’s gonna be jiwang’ attitude does not do well with logic.

Another example is when Botak (The main character) and the girl goes to visit her father, the wife beating man. The story progresses till the girl asks the current wife if he beats wives. She answers no. Botak asks the man, he says “Woman when they misbehave, must be beaten!”

The movie is left like that and then the girl apologises to her mother for running away. What gives? Why did she do that? What’s the conclusion from the contention of facts. One says yes the other says no. So WHO does she believe?

Yeah say lah I’m not artistic, I can’t understand it because I can’t appreciate art and I can’t speak mandarin. You’re right. I don’t understand it because the movie does not do what a basic movie should do.

Call it experimentation? Be good at the basics first then earn the right to break the rules.

Another down point is the fact that the characters in the movie don’t develop. They’re flat characters. All of them. From the start of the movie to the end, they don’t change significantly. Especially the character Ah Nieu (the Cow) plays. His problem is that he likes the garang girl. But does not develop the guts to tell her throughout the story.

I’m also think that one of the only reasons why people would want to watch is the novelty that the actors in the show are famous Malaysian Chinese singers acting in the movie.

Despite this, I’ll still be supporting Malaysian movies. I’ll go watch them and I’ll criticize it and I’ll appreciate it. It’s the only way the art scene in Malaysia can grow. When people like you and me do so.

Lessons from Bolt

2010-04-27T03:15:00.001+08:00

Call me a sucker for Disney stories but I think I discovered why they’re so successful every time they make one. The movies they make despite of the childlike characters like talking dogs and fish are metaphors of life in so many ways.

And that’s the thing, they can be so ever relevant and appealing to adults and teens who get the metaphors and yet still be highly entertaining to children alike. Not every movie has this advantage. While some violent movies are not appropriate nor are mature romance flicks any better, Disney’s movies captures the beauty that can exist in all of us and make it work for all ages.

Watching Bolt, is to me watching the need for self value. Something that’s been on my mind for quite a while. Zig Ziglar in his very famous book talks about the single most important thing that a human desire to be important. Like it or not, we all need to feel important some way or another. That is why we find kids doing things that attract attention. It could be the innocent ‘Daddy, daddy look at me’ or the messing with the little sister. All these to gain attention and in the long run feel important because attention has been given.

To sidetrack a little, that’s why it’s important to selectively pay active attention to children (and adults who act like children) the right attention. If we constantly give attention to children who do things we don’t want them to do, when they do it, we enforce that character.

Anyway, on that human need. I think it’s so important that we’re able to find our what we’re good at. So that we might find our feeling of importance in the things that we do best.

Like in Bolt. He found his meaning in the duty he entrusted himself with which was to protect his girl Penny. But with the revelation of what the real world was outside the studio, he was devastated. it is then when we have to rediscover where our importance can be found.

The characters around him also played a significant part in enforcing this idea. Rhino the hamster, a metaphor for those who only dream of being able to do great things but are left to sit in their plastic transparent capsules, hoping one day to be able to be appreciated and feel important just like the way heroes like Bolt do.

Or the cat Mittens who was rejected by her previous owner who then found comfort in the friendship she had with the hamster and the dog. It is here, in their journey across the USA that she finds her importance. A sense of value in the eyes of her peers.

We all are in some ways like that. Like it or not, the class joker, the geek, the sportswoman all have something in common. In their achievements, they or rather we find our significance and feel fulfilled.

What about you? What’s your importance?

Happy 21st!

2010-04-24T18:32:00.001+08:00

I woke up this morning with what felt like a withdrawal syndrome. To what? Heh. It’s interesting that yesterday when we celebrated Jon’s 21st Birthday, I felt like I was returning to a life I once knew or rather to a person that I once was. I guess it’s a way of thinking. The active strive for excellence with the engaging wit with words in the people I spent the evening with rekindled that in me.

I was thinking about this on my way back from Suit’s house that my phone randomly played Switchfoot’s “This is your life”. The question ‘Are you who you want to be?’ struck in me much more clearly the feeling of choosing the things that I do that defines me, the confidence that comes from deep within and isn’t superficial or acted out.

Two songs later, Breathe by Anberlin played.

I can finally breathe.
Suddenly alive.
I can finally move.
The world feels revived.

This long of a struggle
Finally opened up my eyes.
Revolution's not easy
With a Civil War on the inside.

That resonated my thoughts and feelings at the moment and I felt all the world was right again.

******

I think many people forget that they are in control of their feelings and not the other way around. If so then we’ve become a slave to how we feel. My challenge everyday is to go against what my emotions are telling me and do the right thing.

Like this morning with that withdrawn feeling, I didn’t want to do anything but hide in bed. But I decided that hiding away was not what I needed. What I really needed was things to do and people to meet.

And the results were that I was able to discover new things and get life going.

****

I’m also thinking about going ahead and doing my thesis on a subject that I’m really interested about like the effects of the internet on language learning or literature in movies. Not on TESL international students. A topic that I can think about even more when I leave university.

My supervisor isn’t that keen on that but I’m going to try anyway. Even if it means asking for other lecturers for help.

I’m glad Yen said to me: “But it’s YOUR thesis!” and that got me thinking about how I’ve always loved research and studying and here this was my opportunity to study what I really really love.

This is your life and today is all you've got now
Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

Can you bear the thought of letting your life go pass you by only because you were too afraid to see the things that are coming your way? Or perhaps it’s the ‘tidak apa’ attitude – a sign of defeat.

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Lord, my life is yours. I’m not afraid because all that I ever needed was You. Every breath that I breathe, and even if I turn my back and fall, you’ll be there to catch me I know. I want to be childlike again and not be afraid but know exactly what I want.

Because this time and life has been given to me and me alone. No one else will be responsible except me. No one else will be held accountable but me.

The tooth incident

2010-04-22T01:08:00.001+08:00

For most of us the Wisdom teeth are assumed to be signs of wisdom because at around the age of around the early 20’s, these teeth come out. It is at this age that young people are expected to have attained a level that demonstrates adult like characteristics be it by social function or cognitive ability and emotional intelligence.

Anyhooo, I finally got the time to go get my teeth checked. I’ve always known that the teeth trapping all the food I eat in the right of my mouth was my wisdom tooth and it was only time before all that food would lead to decay.

So I went to the dentist and got the initial diagnosis. She said that my wisdom teeth were perpendicular to my already existing molars and if I wanted could be removed. She had assumed that I was facing pain in that area which I wasn’t. Only minor discomforts due to the decay which I was later on proved right.

To my benefit, she did not want to extract the teeth because she needed to know if my teeth were near some nerves in my mouth. If too close she would not be able to do it and would have to refer me to a specialist.

I was not at all in the favour of extracting because it would mean my dad had to come up with at least RM500 per tooth given that people usually pull two because chances are if one is hurting, the other might too and one might as well do it one shot to reduce trouble.

I consulted several people beforehand Poay Ling included who had an ordeal of her own with some Iranian and Yemen dentist from UH. An ordeal which cost her an infection and a lot of trouble eating and swallowing later on. My mom too had a similar experience which was enough to strike UH off as an option for me despite the much cheaper cost. (Suit Lin however got hers extracted perfectly by a, according to her dashing Malay dentist.)

So my dad and I went straight to Gleneagles in Ampang and got my xray done.

So this is an xray of my mouth. =D See the two teeth out of place on the left and the right? Yeah those are the wisdom teeth.

We rushed back to the dentist and she said that the teeth were indeed touching the nerves. A specialist would cost above RM1000 per tooth. Haha. So that was a no no too.

So here was my predicament, should I extract or just leave it to rot? I told the dentist that my problem was the rotting and she suggested that I fill up the hole.

The red arrow points to where food would usually get trapped in and not be easily removed with a toothbrush. The orange arrow points to the part where the decay was taking place.

So my tooth was filled and problem solved.

This was my adventure with the dentist.

Oh and did I mention that my dentist graduated from UM too? Oh the irony.

Brothers

2010-04-12T11:58:00.001+08:00

Education

2010-04-09T23:20:00.001+08:00

picture from http://www.thercs.org/youth/competitionspartnership

It’s so easy to forget the real reason why teachers to what they do. That the generation coming, needs to know and be able to think creatively and critically. It is what our ancient ancestors would have regarded as their sharpened flint and the power of fire. Today, man needs more than ever, wisdom which is knowledge in application. They need to be confident of themselves that they will be able to survive and much more than that, know how to be a part of a rapidly converging global community.

The days of the wooden house may still be around due to culture but a frail wooden shack of a mind and vision will be the only reason why our children’s country will not survive the future and the challenges that we are yet to even begin to understand.

And it must begin with us.

Pre-Metro Carnival

2010-04-06T22:59:00.001+08:00

So if you haven’t heard about my Church’s carnival, it’s about time you did! =D Our fund raising event will happen on the 1st of May on a public holiday. It’s going to be a blast cos there’s going to be plethora of wonderful delights reaching from a smorgasbords of appetite inducing food to amazing games like the ones being constructed above.

What’s more, I’m going on Saturday to test out some of the food that’s going on sale at the Carnival. So you can count on my fussy palate and many other fussy eaters to ensure that what we’re selling is of the best! =D

So let’s beramai-ramai make this happen!

Check out the Event on Facebook and the Blog

oh and I’m still selling coupons. =D RM20 per book to fuel your worth while spending power at the carnival! Drop me a message and I’ll be glad to help you help us raise the funds while have an awesome time!

Start up!

2010-04-06T22:35:00.001+08:00

So it was after the first unofficial QLS-like thing that we did and I think it was a good start. Speaking of a good start, I had in the flurry of the morning, forgotten to turn off my headlights. Ironically, it was only moments before I discovered this that I was telling Christ not to worry (she was worried that she had forgotten to turn off her own headlights).

Thank God Chris had a set of jumper cables which I am considering buying; or I would have to have needed help pushing the car to jump start it.

It was especially funny because the Sri Garden students like Sanjeev and Nikki were looking on and saying hi and I was laughing at what a funny situation I was in. And I was satisfyingly tired after that long day. =D

Mmmmm! The sweet smell of success. All Glory to God!

One Monday Afternoon

2010-04-06T22:28:00.001+08:00

Easter

2010-04-04T14:11:00.001+08:00

Thanks Sam for a good time today song leading. Praise God. =D

***

On the rush back home from church, we (Boon Hoe and Ju Yi) saw someone got robbed. This motorcycle came from the opposite road and approached a car.

The rider then began to put his hand towards the car in what seemed like a violent gesture. The first thing in my mind was perhaps this guy was just playing around with his friends.

But he proceeded to grab something from the now obvious open window of the front passenger seat. The motorcyclist was then pointing to the passenger like he was warning them not to shout or something.

It was when he grabbed was when we realized that it was a robbery. The next thing that came to my mind was all the church members who would pass by the same road and the risks that they were exposed to.

I think it’s never extra effort to keep your windows closed and to keep valuables like bags and phones out of sight especially at traffic lights and traffic jams. It gives robbers a bigger window of opportunity to make their move.

Photo

2010-04-03T18:53:00.001+08:00

I totally love this shot because of the way it looks like something that would be done on photoshop. But it isn’t and I think that it’s even cooler because it’s us.

Thank you Lavi for always taking and editing them beautiful and capturing the authentic in your photographs.

Checkpoint 3

2010-03-30T01:59:00.001+08:00

I was telling Suit Lin about how I seemed to have dropped everything. To put it in Marty Sampson’s words, “..my world caved in around me” that was precisely what I was experiencing. All the ‘things’ that I had gathered, the lessons and experiences and the choices that I made all didn’t seem to hold and what I had left was a sludge of the values I could not recognize anymore.

Now when I look back at just a few weeks ago, I’m glad it all did. I like how Suit seems to easily draw metaphors (I have a suspicion that it’s from the dad) from simple things like ‘dropping all that I know’ for she went on and said that ‘The thing about dropping everything is that you get to take inventory’.

She was right. I now can really take a step back and cut away the things I don’t need and begin to choose what I really want. I guess you could say I came into university with no real goal but to just take in as much as I could. Melalyn on the eve of haluansiswa said ‘Just go with an open mind’ and I did. And I’m glad I did.

Now that the years are coming to an end and the course nearing it’s lifespan, I, in Ben’s words on the title of one of his blog widgets; as a Pilgrim will soon be choosing and deciding upon the roots which are to take it’s place.

Thanks dancers. =D

2010-03-26T22:58:00.001+08:00

Starfield - Unashamed

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain
This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokenness complete

Perish

2010-03-24T22:06:00.001+08:00

I just got the invitation cards to the wedding of one of my longest lasting friends. in cycling out to greet the beautiful couple waiting in their beautiful car outside the compound of my flat, I had the sudden wonder in my head of whether or not I was progressing in life at the right pace or not.

It’s wasn’t the rain or the weird feelings I had teaching guitar not more than a few hours ago. But for that brief moment, I just felt as if I was looking at someone who had up-ed her level while here I was still in the shorts and tee shirt outfit I grew up in. For that brief moment I had doubts if I had done the right things for now at this moment I don’t see myself as an effective teacher no matter what people say. I don’t see the talents I once thought I had being applied in the teaching I was told I have potential in. For this brief moment I am finding myself not being able to do Base Number operations I was once able to do 6 years ago.

For this brief (hopefully) moment, I am at loss at what I am supposed to do for all my life I’ve had guidelines and rules and things that would guide me through. Now all I see are grey blurry dotted lines I don’t recognize in the fog. I’ve always had competition perhaps it was the ability to compete that drove me onward.

Now I have nothing to compete with.

***

Ah in that brief moment I had the satisfying feeling of being able to comprehend why when in finding what the 1 in 2316 really is worth in a base 8 number, do we multiply it by 8^2.

Why, in the last 3 years of moments, have I only had the feeling of the cliché “the more I know the less I understand”? Oh so true this is when it comes to teaching. Why the more theories and methods I know, the less I seem to be able to teach? I have come to this point when I no longer have opportunities to see how things work. Not in education for sure.

Oh teaching is for the people who have patience and are able to take the long haul! Those who have long suffering and are willing to do whatever it takes even if the results may never be evident after 20 years.

Miss Lee, how do you do it?

***

I don’t want to be in a rocking chair vigorously making movement but not going anywhere. I need to get somewhere. I need to see where I’m headed. I need to know what I want to achieve. The things I have in my head seem so far away. It’s the wild blue yonder from this stand point. I now understand why Abang, and Jia Hui had these feelings. And so many other people. How they too wondered what to do with their lives.

Truth

2010-03-22T21:48:00.001+08:00

Kaun Tan says:
we must always remember to be true to ourselves
=D

Suit Lin | will be perfect says:
yes
and love, keep loving

Checkpoint 2

2010-03-22T20:22:00.001+08:00

Maybe the reason why I’m going through all this is so that I can learn how to overcome the struggles I’ve always knew existed. I have always known that the people around me easily influence the way I act and react and say things. It’s not peer pressure, something more trivial perhaps. The way certain idiosyncrasies occur, habits some people have, I seem to lap up.

Now being surrounded by characters that I don’t want to have, perhaps it’s a time for me to deal with that tendency to conform to people’s character and really take upon principles that I know can have results.

I’ve come to know the importance of the process. If you don’t correctly follow the process, you won’t get the results. It’s like eating banana without removing the peel. What you will get in the end is a bitter taste in the mouth. But if you want what’s inside, you have to peel the banana.

There are some things that have to take it’s course. While other things can be changed and adapted.

I cannot stand people with no principles.

Let me not ‘cannot stand’ myself.

Things we do

2010-03-21T21:45:00.001+08:00

The assignmenteer, the answer seeker

The online interviewer.

The Alice in wonderland movie goers.

Amidst the mess

2010-03-21T21:42:00.001+08:00

Brothers,
they’ll pose for you
for fun

For The Glory Of.

What about men?

Last minute pennings

Early Morning

One Man Awakes

Strength Abound

Isaiah 40:25-31 The Message (MSG)

Overworked

Seasons

LOL

This is Kenny

Pardon the Parables

Promise God?

Conversations

How to cook?

Presence

Last day of the B.Ed.

You who Wait

Cat

A1200

Speaking

2 Timothy 2:23-26 (The Message)

Bits of Singapore

Project 2 and 3 of 4

I So Hate Consequences.

Truth

Ephesians 6:13-21 (The Message)

Project 1 of 4

Timeless

Day 4

DBKL Fail

Bits

Job Opportunity

Hindsight

Paradise

Epiphany

Light and Darkness, Sin and Forgiveness

A little bit of Christmas

Ben

Twenty Eleven

Tears Robes*

Uniqlo and Money

Gmail.

My Obsession

Anticipation that Satisfies.

You

Posting.

Teaching Practice

Spankin!

Between these ears.

Resurgence

The meal's a sham.

Untitled

Musings

I’m happy!

Without leafs from that big tree I hid under, the view is fantastic. :) - Suit Lin

So far

Wishlist

Conversations

Facepalm moment*

Teaching Practice

Urbanscapes 2010

Pre-Sem

Hellooo?

Who’s Ronnie?

Updates.

It’s confirmed!

Conversations I love

Not to save my RM 2

Duit Makan

Setting Up

Karya

Thus far.

On love.

For the adventurous

Let that be enough

An hour to go

Church Dedication

This week the trend

Girl next door,

Isaiah 40:25-31
The Message (MSG)